86th post.

using my free time in the morning to blog
SINCE my lecture will be starting at 2.
cause thr's no tutorial for th next 2 weeks for IntHT =.="
E-learning. sucks =X
i still prefer going school tho i dont feel like it.
doing it online seems weird?

anw,i woke up at like 9:30? so early pls.
wanted to slp more but cant. hais.
anw anw, got back my Microecons paper ytd.
i must say. lucky i just passed.
what's next? OB.
just pass i happy liaos. should be getting back on this friday barhs.
super boring this few days. but alot projects.
dont noe can finish anot.
and th damn BCS web design thingy.
bloody hell, Phrase 1 is due-ing next week?!
and like i haven learn anything liddat =X
super sucks luhs, i hate bcs D:
then th OB, omg lor, still got Part B haven started yet.
our part A like haven finish. did we? ahh, well.
then microecons also. market study. want cry liaos D:
so many things to do.







i mutilated myself again ytd.
guess i have got addicted.
one day, sth really might happen to me.
who cares. i hate this world, i want to leave this world.






my panic attack acted up AGAIN.
during my trip back home.
there was a traffic jam at th expressway,
then for no reason. my heart raced.
i managed to calm down? aiyah, nth really matters.
i hate.
someone pls erase my memory.

85th post

todae,
went to Church of Singapore with Xiao Yi and family.
hmms,
so far, i think still okay.
ate at bedok food center aftermath.
ate alot, ok, maybe for me is alot. cause XiaoYi keep taking food for me.
&& i finished 1 whole cup of Soya Bean Milk . omgg.
then go her house sit sit while waiting my mum to join us for dinner.
i slept like nobody business while waiting.
super tired.
then when my mum arrive at around 6?
DINNER starts.
guess what dinner was?.
Xiao Yi cooked. Fried Rice. lols,
with recipe. okay luhs, she's improving on her cooking =]

then my mum want watch th stupid taiwn show ''爱''
then sit till 9 pm then go home.
wah, super tired lorhs,
lucky i finished microecons tutorial ytd lerhs,
if not sure cmi x.x
gotta bath now & have my precious sleep :D

who got you angry now again?!
can you stop acting so big?.

21 Guns - Green Day

i LOVE this song.

21 Guns-Green Day

Do You Know What's Worth Fighting For

When It's Not Worth Dying For?

Does It Take Your Breath Away

And You Feel Yourself Suffocating?

Does The Pain Weigh Out The Pride?

And You Look For A Place To Hide?

Did Someone Break Your Heart Inside?

You're In Ruins

One, 21 Guns

Lay Down Your Arms

Give Up The Fight

One, 21 Guns

Throw Up Your Arms Into The Sky

You And I

When You're At The End Of The Road

And You Lost All Sense Of Control

And Your Thoughts Have Taken Their Toll

When Your Mind Breaks The Spirit Of Your Soul

Your Faith Walks On Broken Glass

And The Hangover Doesn't Pass

Nothing's Ever Built To Last

You're In Ruins

One, 21 Guns

Lay Down Your Arms

Give Up The Fight

One, 21 Guns

Throw Up Your Arms Into The Sky

You And I

Did You Try To Live On Your Own

When You Burned Down The House And Home?

Did You Stand Too Close To The Fire?

Like A Liar Looking For Forgiveness From A Stone

When It's Time To Live And Let Die

And You Can't Get Another Try

Something Inside This Heart Has Died

You're In Ruins

One, 21 Guns

Lay Down Your Arms

Give Up The Fight

One, 21 Guns

Throw Up Your Arms Into The Sky

One, 21 Guns

Lay Down Your Arms

Give Up The Fight

One, 21 Guns

Throw Up Your Arms Into The Sky

You And I.

83rd POST

nothing to post again !
cause in school whole day AGAIN.
super sians.
anw, got back my comm skills test ytd.
did i mention tt ytd? no? idk =.="
i got 28 nia. *clap clap* almost fail pls.
i hate ENGLISH la. this is so freakish english-ly  subject can.
no mood to post blog now lorh.
cause i saw sth very dissapointing.
im so dissappointed. TOTALLY.

whr th hell did my penknife gone? F5.
zzz, go buy another one. anw, so cheap.
i got addicted. imma die sooner or  later.
*rushes off to find penknife*   =.="
and once again.
IM DISSAPPOINTED . or should i say UPSET?
oh well. that person just dont understand.
so who cares.

OH, 1 more thing.
 JOANNE officially quits maple.
YAYness, come come, all open champagne with me.
i feel like having a drinking session,
but sure nobody want pei me derhs.
actually drink alone also not so bad.

82nd post

nothing to post todae lehs.
go school whole day lor.
so tiring can during the IntHT lecture.
i almost fell aslp. ok, i did. for like 10 mins :x
i REALLY hate ending school at 6 larhs.
everytime the bus so many ppl,
den have to squeeze here squeeze thr.

REACHED HOME.
was hungry, didnt eat since morning 7am =.="
but i eat little bit nia.
cause my mum todae cook de food not really fits my appetite x.x
den..
off i went to edit my Microecons project.
and its FINALLY done.
hais, but another stupid project very headache >.>
the IntHT project.!
wth, 15 pages of report. *faint*
im gonna go slp now.
tt pill is taking effect i think,
im feeling super drowsy. can type till slp =.="
so.
NITES EVERYONE! :D

81st Post.

Nothing much to blog about.
hmms, let see..
weekend, played street netball.
well, TP1 won 2nd place, while TP2 which is my team got 4th.
no medal D: LOL. but we all noe everyone did well.
GJGJ! :D

Sunday is Father's day.
this year me and my sis didnt give him anything.
i felt bad, at least my sis made him muffins =/
and worse is, i think he's having a bad mood tt day.
c'mon its father's day. and he's having bad mood =.="
OH! & i bought a pill box. very cute LOL =X

cute marhs?=X

okay, so i bought th pill box

to erm, of cause put my pills larhs =.="

if not everytime very ma fan bring the whole thing to school etc.

this is much more easier :D

dont ask me wat pills they are. cause idk also.

everytime i visit clinic stare here stare there. not really listening to doc =X

MONDAY!

first day of school after first term break.

it was like erm.. wth thing.

i ended school at like 1:30 =.="

stupid tutor no come D:

but also good larh, cause i forgot do the MicroEcons project >.>

and yah, i just finished doing it. and using some free time to blog :D

im tired. 

gotta go get my sleep alr =X

nite nite~

Depressed.

IM SO FEELING :

RIGHT NOW.
idk why.
but i tear-ed for no reasons.
lucky my house no ppl.
if not they sure  think i siao, cry for no reasons.
feeling super gloomy and depressed.
wanted to find someone to talk to.
but i dont noe how to start th conversation with.

nowadays, when ppl see me ,
their first comment was, ''你瘦了''
even thursday mrs tan say too D:
have i really got any skinny? idk.
speaking of mrs tan, i finally have a pic with her after a super long long time =X

:D

hais, i dont want to care about my weight now
i think im getting abit depression .
but normally ppl who have depression
wont say themselves got depression de =.="
i started mutilating myself,
at first it was just for fun. PURELY for fun.
and it got worse now, i somehow got addicted to th pain.
and subsequently i dont feel any pain anymore when mutilating myself.
my life is so messed up right now.
and i even scolded my BEST cousin. im so unreasonable.
WHY? why have i become liddat? i dont noe why.
and my passion for netball is getting lesser and lesser.
i used to look forward to training very much.
now, i would rather stay at home than to train or play netball.
dont even talk about netball, i dont even feel like going out of my house.
can anyone tell me if im really depressed?
WHY HAVE I BECOME LIDDAT?!
have i really change tt much D:
moody, gloomy, depressed. what else?

Blah, Bleh.

EAST COAST PARK PICS.

going to rain but it didnt =="

tot th water was nice? =/

nice ma? nvm.

Cable-Ski park :D

towards th night.

totally random pic. LOL

Anyway, stayed over at xiao yi's hse that night after th picnic.
and went to her church on Sunday.
Then, after th church service,
we went to eat Fei Fei Wanton Mee.
Quite nice, and th portion was just right for me,
but i think my cousin find th portion too small =/
then we bought some dumplings! :D
super nice can!

nonya dumpling! love it!

you can go buy ! :D

The Box cover =/

And ya, that's super brief of wat i did during th weekends.
Anw, went to see a new doctor todae.
Finally ! one doctor understands wat's wrong with me .
okay, not really understand la, but still better than th doctor i must say =/
BUT! th cost how much you know?! $92! wtf. so expensive pls.
and tt bastard like very mad at my mum when he heard tt its $92
he seems pissed . and scolded my mum for like why you go bring her see another doc.
For tt moment, I seriously think tt he doesnt care about me anymore .
But who cares la, i dont want to care about him anymore also.
father's day coming, and i obviously dont want to celebrate.
its just another day that will pass.
i just hate this place. the B_ _ _ _ _ _ & the B_ _ _ _
did i make tt obvious? oh well.
i wanted to leave house. '' li jia chu zhou'' ytd .
but plan failed . oh well. i will have another chance to do so soon
i can predict that . SOON.

FARKKQUE!

FARKKQUE!

this post is actually for me to vent out my anger!
but i cant really type watever i want to vent out here
cause i noe SOMEBODY is looking at my blog too.
cant make it too obvious.
by own well la, that person is CLOSELY related to me
and HE's getting on my nerve.
IM STARTING TO HATE HIM. fullstop.

cousin's 16th bdae

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY
16 YEARS AND COUNTING
BEST COUSIN SINCE CHILDHOOD!

IVAN KHOO KAI WEI! :D


eheh, touched ma?
1 post specially for you sia. =P
mega you somemore. tsktsk.
still dont want help me story =X

happy birthday

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEILING! :D


meet up with daph, chris, ting, yeomei and yuhui
at sheng siong to get food for steamboat todae.
hmms, relatively cheap i think =X
well, ting's father drove us to daph's house.
and we slack th whole afternoon while
chris and ting studied.

Steamboat started once minhui arrived
at about 6:45?
i didnt eat alot though.
let's see...
i ate:
1 cheese hotdog,
1 hotdog,
3 meatballs,
3-4 cheese tofu,
3-4 chicken meat,
and some tofu cooked by meiling =/
that's all i ate.
&& i was DAMN full. i swear.
i didnt even have th space to eat rach's cake D:
i think my panic attack acting up again?
th food listed above is what i have ate for th WHOLE day.
okay, + another Cravio Berry ice cream =X
i was feeling damn nausea and weird?
so i went off dam early. like 9?
and i cabbed home. 6 bucks. great ehs
WASTE money on cab again !

i think im gonna see the doc again.
this time i make sure i get well! x.x

hair too short

OMG LORH.
MY HAIR NOW IS @_@"
my side de hair gone x.x LOL
those interested to see how i looked like now,
erm, just find me? LOL
SO SHORT! OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!
GG LARH.
walao, stupid aunty, ask her dont anyhow liaos
then she cut diao, i was like ''OMG?!'' my HAIR!
dont noe how go school liaos =.="
GG! GG !! GG!!!

double blow D:

im so sad.
ytd nite before i slp,
my sis just taught me that particular chapter.
and i totally forgot it during the test! SAD AR ='(
it was TOTALLY a DOUBLE BLOW FOR ME.
ytd OB liddat liao, then now microecons also liddat.
walao, super depressed liao lorhs.
the RHT will make me into triple blow soon. 3 more days.
and like i said, i cant control my emotions =/

sry ppl, really damn depressed this few days.
if i happen to piss you off or anything,
do bear with me D:
im trying to control alr,
but im still cutting myself. idk why. 
& 1 more time, IM NOT CRAZY OR STH, 
I NO NEED ''XING LI YI SHENG''
just give me some more time, i will overcome it =/

i actually wanted to go study with MY they all at RP de
but th weather damn hot larh, i slp awhile wake up
head feeling super giddy and heavy.
like going faint liddat, den decided not to go.
anw, they studying CSA which i dont have ._."
i want to go sleep liaos,
dam tired and giddy.

&& IM HOME ALONE AGAIN! D:

If Today Was Your Last Day

AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
JOANNE is going to break into
` DEPRESSION real SOON.
i noe , but i cant stop.
sry to those i disappoint. 

And OMGAWDDD,
frm my own calculation,
let me estimate, for OB test,
i will get between 15-20. Total is 40 marks larh.
if not i think will get lesser than that,
most likely wont get more than 20.
if more than 20. then it will be a MIRACLE! wow =.=" zzz

tmr MicroEcons de test,
let's see how i die once more.
im like so dead so many times liaos,
dont noe need how many coffins liaos =.="
DAMN IT. JUST END THIS QUICK AND FAST.
DEPRESSED.



If Today Was Your Last Day - Nickelback

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day
tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
If today was your last day

Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the prize is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you'll never live it twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life

If today was your last day
tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you're dreamin' of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
(finally fall in love)
If today was your last day

If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are
So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothin' stand in your way
Cause the hands of time are never on your side

If today was your last day
tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?

Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you're dreamin' of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day